Our New Normal, Day 1

There are three beings who depend on me: my husband with Parkinson’s, my granddaughter with multiple health issues, and the dog, who also had some health issues recently.

After many falls over the past few months, the one we knew would eventually put Gary in the hospital happened in mid-March. He spent five days in the hospital (including a blood transfusion for a huge hematoma from his butt all the way down his leg) and a compression fracture of the L1.

Then he spent two weeks in a skilled nursing/rehab facility. I was fortunate to have a choice, and this one checked all the boxes: they had a bed, took our insurance, came recommended by friends, and it happened to be the closest, 2 1/2 miles away. But even that was a tough slog, going a couple of times a day, spending an hour or so each time, along with taking the granddaughter to and from school, walking the dog, and all the other household chores that don’t go away. One nice thing was the facility allowed dogs once shot records were provided, so I took Junior a few times. He was a big hit with staff and patients!

The physical therapists and insurance having determined he could be discharged, Gary came home yesterday. So I thought I’d try to keep a chronicle of our new life.

Day 0, Going Home

They had discharge papers ready when I arrived; I signed a few documents, packed up the clothes and personal items I hadn’t taken home yet, and a staff member took him in a wheelchair to the car. (The physical therapist had given us a thorough lesson on car transfers a few days earlaier.)

He has a walker, and we are getting a wheelchair. My biggest terror, of course, is the danger of falling. I acquired a gait belt (something I had never even heard of before this), which will help me hang onto him when he gets up and down on the walker.

By good luck, this is Masters’ weekend, so he would be planted in front of the TV regardless of his health, which has given me a break.

I helped him brush his teeth and wash his face before getting him into bed. A shower will have to wait until tomorrow..

Day 1, Saturday

The dog and I got up early, took a long walk, and then I quietly checked on Gary to make sure he was still asleep, finally waking him at 9 to give him his morning meds.

It took nearly half and hour to dress him. It’s hard to put shoes on someone else! And he’s a big guy! He was able to get out onto the front porch and enjoy a little fresh air and spring sunshine.

Meals have gone well; he ate breakfast at the table and lunch in the living room while watching golf. This is a huge improvement; he could barely feed himself when he was in the hospital.

I needed to pick up the granddaughter and run an errand, and told him to stay put or, if he needed to get up, to do so very carefully–“nose over toes,” as the physical therapist taught him when he stands up. Most people normally try to stand straight up from a chair, but momentum is better if he leans forward, thus “nose over toes.’

I suppose things are going well, but I feel like I’m constantly in a hurry, and I’m also still living in fear of another fall.

Friends have offered help, and I intend to accept it when I figure out exactly what we need.

A friend whose late husband had Parkinson’s recommended a book called “How to Want What You Have,” by Timothy Miller. I’m reading it and highlighting passages. I think it will help me through this. More about it in another post.

In the midst of all this I had to go to Florida for my niece’s memorial service. It was a difficult trip, including canceled flights that delayed my return home (I had multple people covering for me), but I spent a few minutes on the beach. It was too cold to swim, but I did dip my feet into the Atlantic, a saltwater baptism I need every so often.

One of my favorite beaches, Flagler Beach, Florida

4 responses to “Our New Normal, Day 1”

  1. susurrus says :

    I’m sorry you have so many challenges. It must be very hard – you have my admiration and best wishes. Those few minutes on the beach must have felt bittersweet. It is good news that Gary is back at home and I hope he continues to recover after such a serious fall.

  2. Laurie Graves says :

    A good friend has Parkinson’s. So hard to see the decline. Hugs from Maine.

  3. wigginswordsandimages says :

    I appreciate the love and support I receive both IRL and from my blogging friends!

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